Bold and Brave-Hearted Page 18

  “Yes, sir. What about work? When can I go back on the job?”

  “I’d give it a couple of days. Next week should be fine.”

  Jay wanted to leap up in the air and click his heels together. Or swing Tarzan-style from the training tower. But most of all, he wanted to see Kim.

  “Can I go now?” he asked.

  The doctor nodded. “Check with my receptionist. Just to be sure, I’ll want a follow-up appointment in three months. In the meantime, if you have any problems at all, call me.”

  “Got it.”

  Outside the examining room, Jay discovered he was oddly disoriented, not knowing whether to turn left or right to reach the front desk. The hallway, the smiling nurses, all looked unfamiliar. He had to close his eyes before he could remember which way he’d come in from the waiting area.

  The receptionist was talking with someone on the phone. Jay peered past her counter to the waiting patients, looking for Kim, but she wasn’t in sight. He thought they’d been sitting across from the receptionist. Maybe he was wrong.

  When the receptionist was free, he made an appointment for his next visit. The thrill of seeing Kim for the first time since the earthquake had him rattled, and he couldn’t remember C shift’s schedule. He’d call back to make a change if necessary.

  Anticipation turned his stomach to knots as he opened the door to the waiting area. Everyone looked up expectantly. He scanned the room for Kim’s familiar smile, her distinctive blue eyes. He’d take her to a classy place tonight, a fancy dinner and some dancing at the beach. They both had a lot to celebrate.

  Slowly his brain acknowledged she wasn’t there. Only an elderly couple and a man in a business suit. Anticipation turned to dread.

  “Miss,” he said to the receptionist. “The woman I came in with—did she have to go down the hall or something?”

  The woman looked at him blankly for a moment. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you. Your friend had to leave. She said it was something about her job, and she asked me to call you a cab.”

  A cab? Despair nearly drove Jay to his knees. She’d left. Walked out on him at one of the best moments of his life. Nothing about her job should have been that important.

  Why, dammit? He wanted to know why she’d left him high and dry.

  Chapter Fourteen

  She didn’t return his phone calls at the radio station. Her home phone was unlisted, and he didn’t know where the hell she lived, except it was up in the hills east of town. He’d been there, and he still didn’t know where he’d been.

  Granted, he knew if he asked Chief Gray, his boss would probably tell him where to find Kim. But he couldn’t embarrass himself further by letting anyone know he’d lost the woman he loved.

  Jay lay on his back in his room at the fire station, staring up at the acoustic-tile ceiling counting the holes in the tiles, listening to Kim’s voice come to him courtesy of KUCP. He was aroused and hoped to God they didn’t have to roll to a fire. He’d probably injure an important part of his anatomy if he had to slide down the pole any time soon.

  A month ago she’d been in his arms. Now all he had was the bluesy sound of her voice and his memories.

  Cursing, he rolled to his side. What good was perfect vision if you couldn’t see the person you loved?

  He could only assume Kim had concluded she’d done her good deed—she’d rescued him from the clutches of his own foolishness when he was blind. Now that she’d done her duty, returned the favor, she was outta here. What woman with her looks and charisma would settle for a simple firefighter who liked scuba diving and rock climbing. Hell, she was a real intellectual. Who knew or cared about Saddam Hussein?

  Except Kim did.

  Pounding his pillow with his fist, Jay listened as she segued into her next segment, introducing the topic of El Niño’s threat to the coastal beaches of central California. Her guest was a marine geologist from the university.

  Boring. All Jay wanted to do was listen to Kim’s voice and remember the day they’d walked along the beach together. Amazingly, he was just getting into the topic, worried about beach erosion, when the fire tone sounded. He was on his feet, adrenaline pumping and into his turnout pants and coat in seconds. Still, he was the last man down the pole. At least all of his important body parts were still intact.

  An hour later they were mopping up after a suspicious carport fire, one of many they’d had lately in the area. Both Mike Gables and he were shoving push brooms down the alley.

  “Have I mentioned it’s sure good to have you back on the job?” Gables asked.

  “A couple of times. I gather your love life is improving since you’re not pulling so many double shifts?”

  “Only a cad would kiss ’n’ tell.”

  “Right.” Jay shoved a heap of debris away from the gutter.

  “Speaking of love life, I haven’t seen Kim around lately.”

  “You’re not likely to, either. She dumped me.” Pure and simple, that’s what had happened. But the admission hurt.

  “You’re kidding! Why would she do a damn fool thing like that?”

  He shot his buddy a glance. “You’re the only guy I know who has women knocking on his door day and night. You tell me.”

  “Hell, I haven’t figured women out yet, I’m not even sure I want to.” Leaning on his broom, he appeared to study the pile of burned rubble with exceptional interest. “I do know, the look I saw in Kim’s eyes when you were in the room would have sent me running in the opposite direction as fast as my legs could carry me.”

  Jay paused the stroke of his broom in mid sweep. “Why is that?”

  “She was in love, man. Thinking about happily ever after. That scares the hell out of me.”

  Mike had it all wrong. Jay was sure of that. If Kim had been in love with him, she wouldn’t have walked away. It wouldn’t have made any sense.

  It didn’t matter that Jay loved her. Maybe it was just as well he’d never told her. No chance of her feeling guilty about him as she got on with her life and her new career.

  MR. ABBOTT caught Kim in the hallway before she went on the air. “Do you have a minute?” he asked.

  “Of course.” Surprised to see him at the station so late in the evening, she wondered if last night’s segment when she’d interviewed prominent doctors about euthanasia had hit a sour chord with the public. She’d had a lot of callers, all with very strong feelings on the subject. In fact, every evening and on into the morning the number of callers had increased.

  But none of the callers had been Jay. He’d quit calling the station after the first week. She couldn’t blame him. After all, she hadn’t returned his calls. She’d been too much of a coward. He had every right in the world to give up on her.

  Dear heaven, she missed him. Despite her new job, every waking minute she thought about him. When she finally fell asleep, he crept into her dreams, too. Meanwhile, she’d lost ten pounds because food didn’t interest her, and she was actually looking gaunt—as her mother had ungraciously pointed out.

  Mr. Abbott ushered her into his office and closed the door. A dapper man in his sixties, his expertise lay more in the arena of fund-raising than broadcasting.

  “I have good news for you and bad news for KUCP,” he said.

  Kim waited to hear if she’d crossed some unseen line in the broadcasting business.

  “Your reputation for lively discussions and interesting guests has apparently spread across the country. The network CEO called me this afternoon. They’re interested in syndicating ‘Late Night with Lydell’ for public radio. You’d probably be picked up by two or three hundred stations.”

  Kim’s legs threatened to buckle and she sat down in the chair in front of Mr. Abbott’s desk. “Me? They want me for a network show?” She’d given up her dream of being on a network months ago. Granted, public radio wasn’t what she’d had in mind, but the network carried its own special, well-respected status in the industry.

  “There is a small hitch,” M
r. Abbott continued. “They want you to be based in either New York or Washington, D.C. They feel you’d be better able to access guests with an international reputation from there than from our small town.”

  Her budding excitement tumbled. She’d have to leave Paseo del Real. Leave Jay.

  Even though she didn’t see him, his presence in her unseen audience gave her comfort. She talked to him, not to faceless listeners. He was in the room with her, in her heart, whenever she went on the air. That’s why her show had been so successful, the sense of intimacy she brought to the programs.

  How could she possibly do that from New York?

  Yet how could she turn down the opportunity? If not quite all that she’d dreamed about, a regular spot on national public radio came close.

  A quick glance at the clock on Mr. Abbott’s desk reminded Kim she’d be on the air in a few minutes. She had to get to the studio and set up for her live interviews.

  Standing, she said, “May I have a few days to think about the offer?”

  “Of course, but don’t wait too long. When the network execs make a decision, they don’t like to be kept waiting.”

  “I understand.” She had this one chance. If she didn’t take it now the opportunity might never come again.

  Excusing herself, she hurried down the hall to the studio. Her mind was a jumble of conflicting emotions. Although she had lived in other towns as she was building her television career, this was different. In many ways she’d be severing her ties with Paseo del Real—and with Jay. Moving on without him.

  Would he care? Or had he recovered from her cowardly act of leaving him at the doctor’s office and moved on with his own life? She’d been such a fool. No matter that she was ugly or that they had little in common. She should have taken the risk, given them both a chance to find happiness.

  For the next two days, she vacillated over her decision. Finally she decided to pose the question to her listeners, one in particular if he was still tuned in.

  “Good evening, Paseo del Real,” she said at the opening of the show. “This is ‘Late Night with Lydell’ and I’m Kimberly Lydell, your host. Tonight I have a personal question for you. I have an opportunity to have my own show on national public radio. The one glitch is that I’d have to move back east, and that’s a long way from Paseo del Real.” And the man I love.

  “What I want you to do, late-night listeners, is call in. I want you to talk me into taking the job…or into staying right here in Paseo.” Knowing there would be only one vote that truly counted, she gave the listeners the station call-in number.

  Joe, on the other side of the glass partition in the control booth, gave her a thumbs-up, and they cut to taped public-service announcements.

  Almost immediately her phone lines lit up. Kim could only hope one of the callers was Jay giving her a reason to stay.

  AFTER MIDNIGHT, with Kim’s program playing quietly on the radio, the door to Jay’s room at the fire station burst open. In walked Mrs. Anderson, her hair unkempt, her eyes wild, as though she’d just awakened from a bad dream.

  Wearing his usual sleeping attire of briefs and a T-shirt, Jay scrambled to cover himself. “Ma’am, I don’t think you should be here.” At least she hadn’t brought with her the potent smell of lilacs, a scent so strong he’d never be able to get it out of his room.

  “Nonsense, I’m a city councilwoman and this is city property. I can be anywhere I like.”

  Jay grabbed for a pair of trousers and pulled them on. “Ma’am, I really don’t think—”

  “You’ve been listening to her, haven’t you?” She pointed to the radio that was still tuned to Kim’s show.

  “Yeah.” He’d heard Kim announce she’d landed a network job—her dream. She’d be moving away. This call-in business she’d set up asking people to talk her out of going was probably because some guest hadn’t shown up. She was filling air time. All during the show, Jay hadn’t been able to draw a decent breath. He’d lost her forever.

  Mrs. Anderson planted her fists on her hips. “So what are you going to do about Kim leaving, young man?”

  “I can’t stop her.”

  “Of course you can, and you’re going to. I didn’t go out of my way to help get her that job at KUCP only to have her pack up and leave the first time something better comes along. We need people like Kimberly Lydell in our town.” She scowled as if considering retracting that statement. “Even if she is a closet liberal.”

  “Ma’am, I don’t really think it’s any of your—”

  “My business is seeing to the welfare of this community. I want you to get on the phone and give her one good reason to stay right here in Paseo.”

  “If she doesn’t want to stay, there wouldn’t be enough reasons in the world to—”

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  By now the rest of the men on C shift had gathered around his door taking in the scene the councilwoman was creating. He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself in front of all of his friends.

  “He loves her, all right,” Gables volunteered. “He’s been moping around the station for weeks. He’s been losing weight—”

  “Am not.”

  “—and he’s become such a grouch, not even Buttons can stand being around him.”

  Mrs. Anderson pulled herself up into an aristocratic pose. “Then you must call that woman and put her out of her misery. Tell her you love her.”

  “That’s not something a man can say over the phone.” Not that he’d had a chance to tell Kim anything since she wouldn’t return his calls. “And I can’t exactly walk off the job to have a little social tête-à-tête.”

  “Okay, fellow smoke eaters, here’s what we’re gonna do.” Gables took the lead, insisting they roll Engine 61 with the whole crew on board just like a trip to the grocery store when it was their turn to fix the shift’s chow. Only this time they’d go to the TV station. Jay could tell Kim how he felt in person.

  Jay’s protests fell on deaf ears.

  Clutching the cell phone the councilwoman had pressed into his hand at the last minute, Jay climbed into his seat behind the driver. If Kim turned him down—or even if she didn’t—he’d be making a fool of himself in front of all his friends. But maybe, just maybe, it would be worth it.

  THE HANDS on the studio clock moved relentlessly toward the closing moments of the show. Kim had been amazed at the number of people who had called asking her to stay in Paseo, that this was the best place on earth to live. Even her sister had called reminding her that families should stick together, a notion that had brought tears to Kim’s eyes.

  But no one had given her the one convincing reason to stay she wouldn’t be able to resist.

  Jay hadn’t called.

  She was about to wrap up the show when the phone light went on again. One last call. It would have to be a quicky.

  She threw the switch on the two-second delay for the phone, lest the airwaves be filled with foul language, and spoke into the mike. “This is ‘Late Night with Lydell.’ Are you voting I should stay or go?”

  There was a pause on the other end of the crackling line.

  “Hello?” she said. Great time for a prank caller, she mentally muttered.

  “It’s me, Kim.”

  Her breathing stalled. “Jay?”

  “Who did you expect, blue eyes?”

  “I thought—”

  “You left in kind of a hurry last time.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her eyes filled with guilty tears. “I was afraid—”

  “Answer me this, if you can. Do you love me?”

  Her tongue tangled with itself. “Yes,” she whispered. “But I was afraid when you saw me—”

  “You’re beautiful. I told you before I love the way that sweater matches your eyes. And the pearls. Sexy.”

  “How did you—” She glanced up and saw him standing in the control booth, his turnout coat hanging open as if he’d just come from a fire. Jay was looking right at her, talking to her on a c
ell phone. Seeing her scars for the first time. Instinctively she wanted to duck away, to hide herself, but she was mesmerized by the look in his deep brown eyes.

  “I want you to stay, Kim. I love you and I want to marry you.”

  Every atom in Kim’s body went still. She didn’t breathe. Her blood stopped flowing and her heart seized.

  That’s what she saw in his eyes. Not pity. Not horror at the ugly mask her face had become. Love.

  Joe frantically signalled from the control booth for her to do something about the dead air. To talk. To say anything. But words wouldn’t come to her. She had a live mike in front of her and she couldn’t utter a single sound. All she could do was experience the cataclysmic emotions that shook her as she gazed into Jay’s loving eyes.

  And the whole town had just heard Jay’s proposal. They deserved an answer, and so did Jay.

  “Yes, I’ll marry you.” Her voice was so husky she wasn’t sure the words carried to the mike much less to Jay’s heart. But his smile told her he’d heard her loud and clear. And then she simply stared at Jay, her heart so full it filled her throat and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to speak again.

  Leaning forward and grinning, Joe switched on his own mike. “That’s it for ‘Late Night with Lydell,’ folks. This is KUCP bringing you music till dawn. My guess is Ms. Lydell is planning to stay in Paseo for a long, long time.”

  The phone lines on Kim’s console lit up one after another. She ignored them.

  Standing, she met Jay as he came into the broadcast booth. His copper-brown eyes assessed her.

  “Why did you leave the doctor’s office?” he asked.

  “I was afraid of what I’d see in your eyes. I didn’t want your pity.”

  “And what do you see there now, blue eyes?” Like the deep timbre of his voice, husky with emotion, his gaze caressed her.